Who Cares?

I don't use my blog to say my deep feelings. Mostly I feel inclined to be private and careful,  but something has been on my mind for a few days and I'd like to put it in words.

The other night I was up late watching television. Flipping around the channels I landed on the movie, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, staring Matthew Mcconaughey. I thought about L I V I N, he can be funny. I let my mind wander into a story that I could watch and not have to think. Boy oh boy.

Early on in the movie it is clear that Matthew's character Dutch idolizes his womanizing Uncle played by Michael Douglas. The Uncle makes a statment about being a womanizer. "A relationship is only as strong as the person who cares the least." Dutch thinks this is the greatest statment he has ever heard and applies it to his life, he will care the least about people in relationships and that way have control of the realationship. It seems a cowardly way for him not to put himself in a position to be hurt.

 I had to pause the television and think for a moment (I know this movie sounds profound). Do people really do this? Why would anyone dive into a realtionship thinking, I am going to care less about this person than they care about me?

I instantly thought of my relationships-

My children. I love my children with full force. I am honored to be their mom. With children it is not always reciprocated instantly. With my children, I am, so far so good...

Big N. Who cares more in this marriage? He makes me feel like the most important thing in the universe. I feel like I matter. I have oceans of love and admiration for him as well. Who wins here? I think(and this is good) that maybe we try to out care each other. If I make it an individual challange to out care him will I win? I hope so...but he wins most things, he is just that type. Wow, I am lucky.

Parents, in-laws, siblings, neices, friends, cousins, my dog, neighbors, co-workers, how do I fare with these relationships? After thinking about it, it is clear to me that many realtionships in life are a one way street, and no matter how hard you try, the movie is right. Relationships are only as strong as the person who cares(less) the least. It saddens me that the selfish person gets to make the decision and choose the direction the realationship goes. I have had (and still do )realationships that I want more from, but the other person doesn't.

I am not saying I do everything right in my relationships, but out of respect for the people I admire, and the time and effort imprortant realtionships deserve I want to try harder.

My new years resolution, and straight from Grover and Harry on Sesame Street, "Care, it is the right thing to do"